In our interactions with our spouse, words are the most precious commodity we have. “The words that we use either build or abuse.” They have the potential to bring light or cause darkness to fall. Like a flower in a perfect environment the right words can, and will create beauty. Is your marriage full of life and vitality, or has it been burned by overexposure to the sun — soul-destroying words?

The Bible reminds us that the rain falls on the just and on the unjust (Matthew 5:45). There are going to be some rainy days, but if you are a born again believer you have the ability to let the right amount of sunlight in — the Son Light of His Love (John 15:10; James 2:8; 1John 4:12).

I once heard a story of a man who verbally assaulted his wife in public, in front of his former high school buddies — at a class reunion. She wilted because of embarrassment in the presence of her husband’s friends. On the other hand I have seen wives who have made their husbands the butt of their jokes, because he wasn’t the prince of charm, that she thought she was marrying. When he finally realized that he was a joke to her, it created great difficulty in their relationship. We must recognize that our spouse is a spirit, who has a soul (mind, will and emotions) and lives in a physical body (1Thessalonians 5:23; Hebrews 4:12; James 2:26).

The words we speak to, and about, our spouse can bring forward a blessing, or damage to their soul. Words have the potential of being a support or injury to the mind, will, and emotions. As a result, the life that is in the spirit is affected. The injury comes to the soul, but also has an impinging effect upon the spirit.

This is what I mean: A co-worker comes to work, and a number of people begin to speak negative words about his/her appearance. They say that the person looks very ill. This goes on for quite a while throughout the course of the day. By 1:30 that afternoon the fellow worker leaves work early extremely ill. What happened? The words that were spoken to the co-worker had a negative impression upon their mind, will and emotions. As a result, they began to feel as though they were sick in their physical body. Their mind, will, and emotions were injured, so ultimately they became ill. The words of the fellow workers which were destructive, had a soul-destroying outcome, resulting in illness. Now, could the co-worker have overcome the negative words? Decidedly Yes; by speaking the right words to overcome the improper words, that were spoken, to and about them.

The same is true concerning our relationship with our spouse. We can speak the wrong words to, and about our spouse, create disgraceful results, and paint the wrong picture. As a result, our spouse will have to work double-time to overcome the negative impact from the words that were spoken. However if we speak the right words at the right time, they will have a positive effect upon our spouse and ultimately, the marriage.

Because I am in the communication business, I am constantly monitoring myself as to how I come across to people. In other words, I do my best to put a watch on my words. I do this to the best of my ability in my interactions with my wife. I don’t want to paint the wrong picture. I have made my share of mistakes in this area, but once I became aware of my misstatement, I made the correction as soon as I could. Jesus spoke to us very strongly concerning the words we speak.

Matthew 12:35-37 (New American Standard)

{35} “The good man out of his good treasure (deposit) brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of his evil treasure(deposit) brings forth what is evil.

{36} “And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment.

{37} “For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned.”

How are your words? Do they build your spouses self-esteem, or are they destructive? Are your words tough to process? Are you uplifting, or dangerously demeaning?

“Is your marriage full of life and vitality, or has it been burned by soul-destroying words?”

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