Years ago it was brought to my attention that communication is the foundation of life. Needless to say, there is no solid footing in life without specific sincere communication. However, it is more than verbal. It is non-verbal as well. The Gentlemen’s Code is none other than gesture — the silent partner to well-spoken human activity.

I took the liberty to lookup the word gesture in a dictionary and this is what I found.

A) A movement usually of the body or limbs that emphasizes an idea, sentiment, or attitude.

B) Something said or done by way of formality, or courtesy, as a symbol or token for direct effect on the attitudes of others. C) To draw popular support.

In the marriage covenant, words are not enough. Actions communicate how deeply you appreciate your spouse. Some men may not need this as much as women, but they do need it. Words alone cannot and will not satisfy. How can we say that we love our spouse without proving it by actions?

FOUR NEEDS OF EVERY MARRIAGE

1. Physical Needs: Ask what is important. Women need non-sexual touch. Men need the emotion (feeling) that they are conquerors.

2. Romantic Emotional Experience: It is true that women are more romantically
inclined than men, but every successful marriage has a degree of romance to it.

3. Security: Build the “Love Bank.” It is suggested to hug and kiss every three
hours. It is important to build the assurance that you will be there for your spouse.

4. Meaningful Communication: Listening and Hearing
a. Some statistics say that men have only 12,000 words in their vocabulary
throughout the course of a day, and women have 25,000.

b. Communication is not what you say — but what the other person thought he or she heard you say.

c. Men need facts. Women want details.

d. Most men are left brain oriented, and most women are right brain oriented.

Ephesians 5:28-29 (KJV)

{28} So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

{29} For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord, the Church.

ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE

1 Peter 3:7 gives us another clue to the “Gentleman’s Code,” that men are to establish in their everyday existence with their wives.

1 Peter 3:7 (KJV)

{7} Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

The gesture of love in your marriage will strengthen the words of love you speak to your spouse. Sweet talk is good, but gesture makes sweet talk sweeter. Many men don’t realize that a vacuumed rug or a washed dish during the day can produce wonders in a marriage
— especially in the bedroom.

It is imperative that both husband and wife learn to show their love by gesture, regardless of how difficult it may be for them. Many are unable to love or to be loved normally because of the lack of affection and attention in their own childhood.

Communication by gesture is something that must continually be exercised. The more you do it, the stronger, and more comfortable you get. We must support our words with actions — gesture.

We not only need to keep our word to our spouse, but it is essential to support our words with gesture, in a touch, card, flowers, phone call, thank-you note, etc. It’s “The Gentlemen’s Code.”

Copyright © 2004 -2009 Anthony N. Wade Ministries – All Rights Reserved. www.anthonywadeministries.com No portion of this teaching may be rewritten, or reproduced, without the written approval of the author.

Portions of this teaching were taken from the writings of the late Dr. Ed Cole.